


Visits in his Sleep

by waddiwasiwitch



Series: With and Without [8]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Family, Royai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 09:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: Summary: Sometimesit’s easier to pretend that you don’t know what’s real and what’s not.





	Visits in his Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for Conchita, who drew a beautiful picture of my OC Beth Mustang. It was a challenge to write this because she drew Riza with Beth and Roy _[here](http://meiosis2.tumblr.com/post/162748834201/of-course-yes-waddiwasiwitch-i-loved-drawing)_ (even though in my Without Her AU Riza died before she could meet their daughter.
> 
> Thank you Conchita for being so wonderful, kind and always amazing me with your talent. 

  


**Visits In His Sleep**

Roy lay on the sofa, his sleeping daughter against his chest. He bent his head and kissed her forehead. He knew he should put her to bed, but right now he was far too comfortable. It had been an exhausting day in the office. Having spent the better part of the day without her, he was determined to greedily take whatever time he could. He never left his paperwork to last minute anymore and he was always out the door at 17:00 hours every evening; Riza would have been proud of him. It was just over a year since he lost her. He wasn’t quite sure how he had muddled through, but he had. He had to take every day as it came, and it had become easier to manage the grief, not that it ever really went away. There were days when it hit him hard all over again, and only the thought of his daughter could get him out of bed. Every joyous little moment had a tinge of sadness because Riza wasn’t there. Still, She lived on in their daughter, and the last and most precious gift she had given him.

Beth moved in her sleep. Her thumb was in her mouth. A bad habit he was sure she had inherited from Riza, although he couldn’t be sure as his aunt said she never caught him at it. He remembered seeing Riza sucking her thumb as a young girl - a memory she later vehemently disputed. What he would give to tease her about it now.

Yawning, he settled back against the cushions. He was tempted to follow Beth’s suit and join her in slumber, but his back would be at him tomorrow if he did. If he closed his eyes for a moment, it couldn’t hurt.

_Just for five minutes, I’ll go to bed then._

He shut his eyes, and was fast asleep before the five minutes even passed.

  


When Roy tried to open his eyes, the room was bright; sunlight streamed in the windows. He blinked.

_Strange. It didn’t feel like hours. I must have slept all night._

He looked down, expecting to see his sleeping daughter. He finally realised he was dreaming when he met Riza’s warm gaze instead. She was settled back against him with their daughter cradled in her arms. She smiled up at him. Oh how he missed that smile. Her smile faded for a moment. It was so quick, he almost missed it. 

“Good morning, handsome.”

That voice. He was afraid he was going to forget it. He could capture her smiles and face from photos. Her body was almost as familiar to him as his own. But that voice, the exact cadences of her speech, was beginning to slip away. And he wanted to remember, desperately wanted to.

Her forehead creased and she ran her thumb across his jaw. “Roy?” 

“Riza?”

The sound was almost guttural. Not the way her name was supposed to be uttered.

She nodded. “I’ve missed so much haven’t I?”

“We missed you. So much.”

“We did good. Our little girl, she’s beautiful.”

“Just like her mother.”

Beth stirred in Riza’s arms and opened her eyes.

“Hello baby girl.” 

She rubbed her nose against Beth’s. Although sleepy, the little girl let out a giggle. Roy swallowed the building lump in his throat, a wave of melancholy hitting him. 

“This is a dream, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is,” she said, “but we can pretend, can’t we?”

He shook his head. “I wish you were really here.”

“So do I!”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, that I didn’t get you there faster, that I wasn’t with you when you breathed your last. I’m sorry for so many things.”

“I’m sorry for a lot of things too, but most of all I’m sorry for leaving you both.”

He wrapped his arms around his girls. “It’s not your fault.”

Riza whispered in his ear. “And it’s not yours.”

He could felt the heat of building tears in his eyes. “It’s not fair, and I know I sound like a child when I say it.” He sighed. “I feel like it’s punishment for Ishval.”

“Roy, you know how arrogant that sounds. I died because it was my time, no matter how cruel that is.”

“I know that logically, but i can’t help the way I feel.”

Beth cooed loudly and reached for Riza’s face before planting a sloppy kiss on her lips. Riza laughed and kissed her back.

“This is how things should be,” Roy said.

Riza turned in his arms. “Why are you crying?”

He put his finger to his face; he hadn’t realised he was crying.

“Because when I open my eyes you won’t be here.”

“All the more reason to make the most of it then.”

He smiled despite the tears.

“Roy?”

The voice was fade, but he recognised it as Chris’ voice.

“Wake up Roy-boy.”

The voice was getting louder. Riza flickered in front of him. 

No - not yet. I don’t want to wake up.

“It’s time, Roy.” Riza pressed her lips against his. 

“I love you,” he whispered. 

“I know, and now you’ve got to love Beth for me.”

Chris was shaking him.

“Goodbye Riza.”

She disappeared and his eyes flew open. 

Chris was looking down at him, her dark eyes full of concern. “You were crying in your sleep.” 

“It was a good dream,” he said.

He wiped at his eyes, his heart aching. How many more times would Riza visit him in his sleep? 

_Gone, gone, gone._

“Roy!” 

He looked up at his aunt.

Her expression softened. “You should really put the little one in bed.”

Beth was still fast asleep, none the wiser in his arms. 

“I tried to take her from you, but you wouldn’t let her go.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Put her down and get to your own bed. You need a proper sleep. You’re running on coffee fumes at the moment.”

He eased himself out of the sofa, a twinge in his back reminding he wasn’t as young as he used to be.

“You know, I don’t feel much like sleeping now?”

She waggled a finger. “Well, I have just the cure for that. Meet you in the kitchen in five minutes.”

She disappeared through the door. He wasn’t sure if she was about to ply him with cocoa or alcohol. He guessed he would find out.

“Time to get you to bed baby girl.”

**Fin**


End file.
